Been a while….

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So it’s been a while. I lost track of time. I’ve seen a counselor a few times now. I think it’ll help in time. I’m coming to understand that I am not very good at feeling my feelings. I am great at putting on a happy face and letting things slide off my shoulders. I don’t know why, but I guess I don’t feel like I have the right to my feelings when I have so many faults. I feel like I can’t get upset with my husband because he is really great and I am so lucky to have him… but when you don’t rock the boat once in a while, you’re not being real… and when I’m not being real, I binge to shove those feelings aside. Truly, I am so happy and love my life so much… that I feel like I shouldn’t feel anything but happy… so when I feel uncomfortable, instead of dealing with the discomfort, I stuff it down with food. I was hoping that going to see someone would be the magic fix… but apparently it’s going to take some work to get to where I’d like to be. I’m feeling excited for the journey to there, but I am starting to realize it’s not going to be an easy path.

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